My Husband is Deploying for My 1st Time. Again.
I’m getting ready for my husband’s first deployment since we’ve been married. For the second time.
My husband and I have been married for almost 3 years. Our relationship spans more than 4. And in the time we’ve been together, my husband has only deployed once, for a span of about 30 days.
It’s about to be our second-first deployment, for lack of a better term.
As far as deployments go, that first deployment we were together was a weird one.
After receiving orders that he would be staying behind for the deployment, my husband went into work one Friday and was told he would be flying out to meet the boat on Monday. Que the look of surprise.
The good thing about the short notice? There was very little anticipation leading up to the good bye.
There were no pre-deployment briefs or discussions of Power of Attorneys. And there were no pre-deployment self-pity parties that he would miss our second anniversary. Though it did happen.
Aside from having to fork over $700 to board our dog while I was traveling for work, that first deployment was painless. I wasn’t even upset about the missed anniversary because I was on a work trip of my own.
And about 30 days after leaving, the boat rolled into port and the deployment was over. All in all, the deployment was shorter than the training he attended in our first year of marriage.
So far as the stages of deployment go, we pretty much jumped straight straight into anticipation of homecoming, then hopped to stabilization.
Skip to today. My husband is deploying for (practically) my first time. Again.
This second-first deployment is pretty much the exact opposite situation from the first-first deployment.
There’s been too much time to anticipate the missed milestones. And this time he’s not leaving for 30 days.
Oh and I’m pregnant. And my team’s short staffed at work. And a good friend just PCS’ed. Not that’s I’m throwing myself that pity party, but damn… Que the midnight stress.
So here I am, wishing I was still in denial, unrealistically hoping that maybe last minute orders to stay will arrive.
Dreading the pre-deployment meeting which will inevitably make it this second-first deployment feel real. And anticipating the somber looks from spouse to spouse as we prepare for what’s about to come.
Wondering if there’s a way to skip through the bad stages of deployment, you know, the detachment and withdraw, and emotional disorganization.
Wondering how to fast track it straight to the stabilization phase when I have my new routine down pat.
But most of all I’m hoping that my husband will be back in time for our baby’s birth. And doubting that I’ll have much of a social life while he’s gone with all the naps I now need.
But don’t worry, I got this. I’m a well put together hot mess.
At lease my deployment goals are pre-set. All I NEED to do this deployment is put together a nursery and prepare for baby.
PLEASE COMMENT BELOW!
Do you prefer short notice or time to process an upcoming deployment?
What was your husband’s first deployment like for you?