Comical Steps to Planning a Vacation -Milspouse Style
Here are the 33 comical steps to planning a vacation -milspouse style. When you’re a milso vacations are more of maycations (as dubbed by fellow milspouse blogger Jo My Gosh) because they may or may not actually happen.
Vacations are great! But planning a vacation around an active duty lifestyle can be chaotic and stressful to say the least. I recently went to Thailand (more on that later) and the below comical events occurred before I even stepped onto the plane. We laugh because we can’t cry, right?
Step Zero: Wait a reasonable amount of time after your last PCS that you can even imagine affording a vacation
Six Months Out
- Pick a time that’s good for your husband’s shop schedule.
Four Months Out
- Pick a different time that’s good for your husband’s work schedule and past the probationary period at your new job.
- Get your leave approved, and get reassured by your husband that he will get his leave approved too- later.
- Books your flights and forget to buy travel insurance.
Two Months Out
- Book your hotels and opt for the lower non-refundable rate, because you can always buy travel insurance later.
One Month Out
- Find out things have changed at your husband’s shop, and your vacation is no longer scheduled for a good time.
- Find out you’re no longer able to buy travel insurance, cause it’s too close to the departure date.
- Try to decide if you still want to go on vacation without your husband.
Two Weeks Out
- Exhaust yourself doing everything while your husband works 14 hour shifts 7 days a week. And while working 40 hours a week yourself.
One Week Out
- Do laundry.
- Get sick from going non-stop and call out from work. Proclaim to your PCM that you’re dying. Get told to go home, get rest, and call back in 2 days if you don’t feel better.
- Dog gets sick.
- Call your PCM and find out there are no sick visits open that day.
- Resolve that you’re too sick to go on vacation.
- Husband’s leave chit gets approved.
One Day Before
- Finally get an appointment with your PCM who promises to call in a prescription by the end of the day.
- Critical task comes up at work, that must be completed by end of day.
- Leave work to get to the pharmacy before it closes. Take a number, wait for it to be called, then find out your PCM never called in the prescription. Tell the clerk you’ll wait while she contacts the PCM.
- Wait for what feels like forever.
- Finally get your prescription and have to head back to work for another hour to make up for lost time.
- Eat cereal for dinner, take prescriptions, and PACK LIKE YOU’VE NEVER PACKED BEFORE.
- Run out of TSA sized travel containers and curse the exchange for not being open 24 hours.
- Resolve to use bar soap.
- Forget to pack bathing suit.
Day of Vacation
- Find out about a downed plane and massive flight cancellations.
- Call airline and wait on hold for 2 hours before hanging up.
- Curse yourself for not buying the travel insurance.
- Remember to pack the bathing suit.
- Head to airport.
- Park in long term parking. Make a mental note of the cost.
- Airline agent tells you they won’t reissue tickets at this time, and won’t reimbursed for hotels if you cancel your trip. You must get on the first leg of your flight or forfeit your ticket.
- Resolve that you’re going on a totally different vacation then the one you planned.
- Get through security and head to the airport bar.
PLEASE COMMENT BELOW!
Care to comment on my comical steps to planning a vacation -milspouse style?